The Power of the Third Side: Transforming Conflict into Agreement

In a world riddled with conflict, from family disputes to international crises, finding common ground can seem like an impossible task. But what if the secret to peace lies not in the hands of the conflicting parties alone, but in the often-overlooked power of the surrounding community?

The 18th Camel: A Fresh Perspective

Imagine three brothers inheriting 17 camels, with instructions to divide them in halves, thirds, and ninths. An impossible task, leading to strained relations. A wise woman offers her camel, making 18. The brothers then divide the camels according to the will (9, 6, and 2), totaling 17, and return the wise woman's camel. This story illustrates a crucial point: sometimes, resolving conflict requires stepping back, gaining a fresh perspective, and finding that "18th camel" – a creative solution that transcends the apparent limitations.

The Third Side: The Key to Peace

After decades of working in conflict zones around the world, from Yugoslavia to the Middle East, a simple yet profound insight emerged: the secret to peace lies in us. It's the surrounding community – the friends, family, neighbors, and allies – that can play a constructive role in resolving disputes. This "third side" can:

• Remind parties of what's truly at stake: the well-being of children, the future of the community, or shared values.
• Help parties "go to the balcony": A metaphor for gaining perspective and keeping their eyes on the prize.

The Wisdom of the Bushmen

Consider the example of the San Bushmen, who, when tempers rise, hide their poison arrows and gather in a circle to talk until they reach a resolution or reconciliation. If needed, they send someone to visit relatives for a cooling-off period. This system, born from necessity, highlights the importance of de-escalation, communication, and community support in managing conflict.

Abraham's Path: A Journey Towards Understanding

The Middle East, often seen as the world's most intractable conflict, can also benefit from the power of the third side. The story of Abraham, a figure revered by Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike, offers a powerful symbol of unity, interconnectedness, and hospitality.

Walking in Abraham's Footsteps

The Abraham Path, a route retracing Abraham's journey across the Middle East, seeks to bring this story to life. By walking side-by-side in a common direction, people can:

• Experience the hospitality of local communities.
• Break down barriers and build understanding.
• Promote economic development in marginalized areas.

One villager along the path described it as "a light that went on in our lives," bringing hope and connecting them to the world. A woman in Northern Jordan, who is partially blind with seven children, began cooking for walkers and earning an income to support her family. She said that the path made her visible in a village where people were once ashamed to look at her.

From Hostility to Hospitality: Changing the Game

The Abraham Path represents a shift in perspective, from hostility to hospitality, from terrorism to tourism. Just as Europe transformed itself from a war-torn continent into a peaceful and prosperous region through a common identity and economy, the Middle East can also achieve lasting peace through shared values and cooperation.

Taking the Third Side: A Call to Action

Each of us has the power to take the third side, to act as a force for peace in our own communities and beyond. By engaging in conversation with people from different backgrounds, listening to their stories, and extending a hand of friendship, we can bring the world a step closer to understanding and reconciliation.

As an African proverb says, "When spider webs unite, they can halt even the lion." By uniting our third-side webs of peace, we can overcome even the most daunting challenges and create a more just and harmonious world.